day 2. hope and a future.

certain situations and experiences have shaped my perspective. and my perspective created the amanda there is today.

for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

during all staff yesterday, as i reflected on my conversation from the night before, the Lord showed me a lot about how i've used situations where i've felt abandoned, and experiences where i felt threatened to color the way i react. they've led me to avoid those circumstances… led me down the road of control.

on a day to day basis, that looks like controlling my situation-- being in the front seat of the decision making.

as a lifestyle, it's doubting that God could really have a good enough plan-- that after all the disappointments that my dreams could ever be met by God.

the inability to trust that God's plans are better than my hopes, that Gods's future for amanda will meet my dreams, fulfill my expectations.

it's the "hope and a future" part of scripture.

to come back to that nights conversation, this question was posed to me.. it was perspective changing. it was one of those, oh… moments.

so, do you think that God's plan as a Good father, a loving father, is that the bondage you've lived in for 22 years is all that He created you for? what would be God's purpose? what would be the point?

which leaves me to wrestle-- if He didn't intend me for bondage, if that hope and a future really is true-- why am I not living it out everyday?

to keep this blog still tied to Christmas, i'm starting a Christmas song of the day. along with a reason. go.

todays Christmas song: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. (*NSYNC)

why? this day was the thursday (our version of friday) after the church was closed for a week for thanksgiving. we all felt like we couldn't make it a moment longer. so, i put this *NSYNC classic on the super stereo and mia, brooke and i danced around and sang at the top of our lungs through the duration of the song. it did the soul good. trust me. if only we had pictures... next time though. it's gonna be a tradition for sure.